After so many years of getting questions asked ” is that an implant?” “What is that on your neck?” “Does it hurt?” I don’t think I’m going to miss the questions. I don’t mind when people ask, I’d rather they did. It’s the stares and apologizes that bug me more I suppose. It gets repetitive and I get tired of explaining. It’s no one’s fault that it’s there, not even mine. I may even miss seeing it when I look at myself in the mirror.
It’s been 7 days since my visit to see Dr. Hung. And I have 4 more to go until this 7 year growth will no longer be a part of me. I don’t even know what to do with myself. I don’t know I I’m excited to finally see it go, if I’m scared or if I’m even ready. My palms are sweaty and my heart races every time I think about the surgery. I know Dr. Hung is one of the best E.N.T.s in Texas, but I’ve never had surgery before, so I’m anxious and scared. It’s definitely times like these that make me feel even more alone than usual. I am so thankful I have the friends that I do, and their support is extraordinary! But domestically, I lack someone that is going to hold me and kids me and tell me that everything is going to be ok.
I have all the faith in the world that this is going to be a lot less stressful than I’m making it out to be, but my hands are still can’t and my heart is still being out of my chest.